I am not sure how many people think about the distinction in Peer Pressure and Peer Influence. In today’s world, a lot of us are combating to do what we feel is right plus take responsibility for our own activities. Growing up, we might have been taught to remain away from peer pressure. There are applications, systems, and even methods developed to assist us learn to ignore the pressure that others may put on us.
Who may be putting the pressure on all of us and why? Modern day psychologists show to take responsibility for our own thoughts and actions, yet, there is nevertheless so many contradictions in the current teachings showing how to accomplish this way of thinking. We can’t change from the old teachings when the new theories don’t teach viable solutions to substitute these thoughts.
One such teaching requires a bit of refreshing; Peer Pressure passages Peer Influence. Peer influence could be the way we see our peers; the way we allow ourselves to be influenced by them. Whereas, Peer Pressure is where others; within the exact same age or peer grouping, place pressure on us to change or do what they want. In other words, pressure will be the other person’s choice and Influence is your choice. I didn’t understand this difference for a long time.
Others only have the control that you allow them to have. Because teenagers go through adolescence, the changes in their bodies and ways of distinguishing life, are huge. Their picture and self talk keeps all of them self-absorbed. Their ability to sway a choice from good to bad is easy and quick.
What causes those decisions to change? A good person, who gets older in a good home, with great morals does the unthinkable. A parent gets a call from the local police station that her daughter was arrested for breaking and entering someones home. A School Principal has to suspend a good Honor Roll child for cigarette smoking in the bathroom. Maybe, a Neighbors has to call the parents of a number of young boys who she observed beating up the new kid on store shelves. Where do we start plus why do we have to even cope with such behavior?
Misconceptions are all close to us. The quicker we acknowledge what they are, the better we are able to deal with all of them. Teaching our children to stay away from bad influences isn’t bad in itself. All of us realize that there is harm in in the wrong place at the wrong period. But , that isn’t the bottom line of most issues kids will face growing up. We have to teach the kids to take responsibility intended for what they are thinking. Help them to identify their own thoughts and how they work for or against them.
Take for example a teenage girl who just began at a new school. She is thirteen, fairly slender, but not skinny. From 13, she is thinking, “SKINNY, BONY, TOOTHPICK”, among other adjectives. She looks in the mirror and views what she is thinking. She miracles if others will see her this way too.
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As she gets off the bus in front of her new college, she sees a boy that will she thinks is cute. Nearly as soon as that thought enters her mind, she starts thinking about her toothpick legs, scrawny ankles, and bony knees that are exposed, since she decided to wear the reddish skirt that was too short, instead of the glowing blue skirt, that was longer. She lowers her head so as not to possess eye contact with the boy and provides her books up to her upper body for comfort, as she quickly shuffles past him. The boy never said a word to her, never had the chance to say anything, however , the girl won’t forget and can probably avoid that boy.
Lets change the scenario to where the female feels deeply about that boy’s thoughts. Her thoughts were her own conception of his thoughts. Later, the girl makes friends with a girl that will she is comfortable enough to share the girl thoughts. At lunch, the two ladies are sitting at a table consuming, and the boy comes in and rests at the same table. While the boy nevertheless says nothing, the girls start speaking with each other. The new girl might say something like, “You see the boy who else just sat down? Well, this morning, when I got off the school coach, he thought my legs had been skinny”. Her new friend just happened to know that particular boy and his reputation. Later, her new friend makes a directed comment, to the young man whom the two girls talked about earlier, accusing him of being cruel.
How fair was that to this boy? How real was the new girl’s complaint? These types of scenarios are happening at all times. Everyday, everywhere, we continue to misunderstand what others think of us, with the own bias thoughts. How can we all prevent this?
Education on how these thoughts begin and how they spread, will help. Focusing on self thinking plus perception, rather than on the thoughts of somebody else. What others think about all of us is up to the other person’s unique encounters throughout their life. Our tendency to put our thoughts onto others can really hurt relationships.
An example of the thought-provoking moment was when the children and I went shopping for RVs. We stopped at a Motor House dealership in our area. I wandered in and told the salesman I was looking for some type of Motor House. I expressed to him that I didn’t know what I was looking for. He told me he only had one vehicle that would fit my description, then he got the keys to that Motor Home. I thought his declaration was a bit strange since the just information I gave was really general. Plus, I saw a lot full of RVs. Ignoring my thoughts, I simply followed him out to the great deal, with my boys right behind me.
While we climbed into the electric motor home, the salesman was hesitant to help too much. I asked your pet if I could test drive it. The salesman looked right at me and said, “Well, do you have someone else that will be going with you? “. I replied with, “Why, do you mean a spouse? “. The salesman said, “Yes, and why don’t you come back later together with your husband and then you can test drive it.
You can imagine what I was thinking simply by this time! My reality to this circumstance was, the man didn’t want myself to test drive the vehicle without my husband because I couldn’t drive the automobile myself. His reality was that he had a lady there with 2 little boys wanting to test drive a Motor Home. I am sure he didn’t feel I was serious. Well, he produced a $6, 600. 00 mistake, because I was going to buy the electric motor home. I thought the price was correct. I chose not to buy from him, as well as, telling my friends about their bigoted attitude. This is how things will get really warped over something so simple. I really didn’t know what that salesman thought, because I still left without dealing with him.
In summary, I suggest, if we recognize the difficulty of believed transfer and train our thoughts to deal with our own thoughts first, we would be able to deal with such issues as Peer Pressure. Peer Pressure just isn’t Peer Influence. They are opposites of every other.